How setbacks can lead to personal growth
In our performance-oriented society, failure is often viewed as a flaw or a sign of weakness. However, a closer look at one's project history or professional development reveals that setbacks are not dead ends. In fact, they provide an opportunity for self-reflection and strengthen our resilience, often laying the groundwork for long-lasting personal and professional success.
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Failure is not the end, but the beginning
Many of the most successful people have one thing in common: they experienced multiple failures before achieving their greatest successes. To them, a setback was not the end, but an important turning point — an opportunity to learn, grow, and adjust their approach.
A notable example is Walt Disney, who was dismissed from a newspaper at the start of his career for lacking 'creative ideas'. His first ventures went bankrupt. However, rather than giving up, he founded a new studio, created Mickey Mouse and later Disneyland. He is now synonymous with creativity and entrepreneurial courage. Similarly, Steve Jobs was fired from Apple, the company he co-founded. He used this period to create something new, founding NeXT and investing in Pixar. He later returned to Apple, revolutionising the brand with the iMac, iPod and iPhone. Another prime example of perseverance is Thomas Edison. In his quest to invent the light bulb, he reportedly failed over a thousand times. He is famous for saying: “I have not failed. I've just found 1,000 ways that don't work”. This attitude demonstrates that setbacks are an integral part of success.
Setbacks force us to pause projects, rethink strategies and step out of our comfort zones. Failure does not simply mean failing to achieve a goal. It is always a personal experience marked by emotions such as disappointment, frustration, and self-doubt. This is precisely why it is important for teams and organisations to be able to talk openly about failure. Only through openness can a culture be created in which mistakes are not hidden away, but understood as valuable learning opportunities that enable real growth.
A notable example is Walt Disney, who was dismissed from a newspaper at the start of his career for lacking 'creative ideas'. His first ventures went bankrupt. However, rather than giving up, he founded a new studio, created Mickey Mouse and later Disneyland. He is now synonymous with creativity and entrepreneurial courage. Similarly, Steve Jobs was fired from Apple, the company he co-founded. He used this period to create something new, founding NeXT and investing in Pixar. He later returned to Apple, revolutionising the brand with the iMac, iPod and iPhone. Another prime example of perseverance is Thomas Edison. In his quest to invent the light bulb, he reportedly failed over a thousand times. He is famous for saying: “I have not failed. I've just found 1,000 ways that don't work”. This attitude demonstrates that setbacks are an integral part of success.
Setbacks force us to pause projects, rethink strategies and step out of our comfort zones. Failure does not simply mean failing to achieve a goal. It is always a personal experience marked by emotions such as disappointment, frustration, and self-doubt. This is precisely why it is important for teams and organisations to be able to talk openly about failure. Only through openness can a culture be created in which mistakes are not hidden away, but understood as valuable learning opportunities that enable real growth.
Why traditional ‘lessons learned’ are often insufficient
‘Lessons learned’ workshops have become standard practice in many organisations, but all too often they end up being nothing more than a means of documenting results. There is rarely an in-depth examination of how and why things happened. Yet it is precisely this kind of reflection that offers the greatest potential. Reflection involves more than just working through a checklist. It involves consciously questioning your thoughts, emotions and decisions. What feelings arose during the project? Did you experience frustration, disappointment, shame, pride, or relief? How did these feelings influence your actions? Only by acknowledging the emotional aspect can we develop a genuine understanding of what happened and how we can do things differently in future. Rather than looking for someone to blame, we should analyse the causes and develop solutions. This will not only lead to personal growth, but also to a culture that promotes innovation and collaboration.
How to grow from setbacks
Just because a project has failed doesn't mean that all progress has been undone. The team often remains the same, and the shared experience cannot be taken away. However, more than just new goals are needed for a real fresh start.
1. Accept failure
The first step towards change is acceptance — failure is part of the learning process. This applies to both experienced project managers and those new to the role who are taking over an ongoing or failed project. It is important to take a constructive approach to the past without getting lost in blame.
Blaming your predecessor or emphasising the mistakes of individual team members does not promote trust; rather, it undermines motivation. It makes much more sense to move on from the past together so you can start afresh.
2. Reflect deeply
Real change begins with honest reflection. What went well? What could have gone better? Where were the stumbling blocks, and what can be learnt from them? An open exchange within the team, free from hierarchical pressure, can help you to see things more clearly. It can be helpful to gain some distance from the failure. Allow emotions such as disappointment or anger to surface, so they no longer hinder a constructive review.
Imagine the project is a ship and you, as the project manager, are the captain. In a crisis, it is your job to take control, stay calm and guide the team safely through the storm. This attitude of inner leadership is crucial for joint development.
3. Seek feedback
Reflection is good, but feedback is better. This is because others often notice things that you have overlooked. It is important to seek out different perspectives, whether from team members, stakeholders, or external consultants.
In challenging periods, positive and appreciative feedback can be especially powerful. It reminds us that not everything was negative, and that our work is recognized and valued. At the same time, feedback should also be constructive. Where is there potential? What could be done better? A balanced review provides direction and motivation for the next step.
4. Strengthen resilience
Resilience, or the ability to cope with setbacks and emerge stronger from them, is not an innate trait, but a skill that can be learned. It is strengthened when challenges are overcome together, mistakes are openly discussed, and responsibility is embraced.
A resilient team is characterised by its ability to work together under pressure and respond flexibly to change. The project manager must lead by example, reflecting on their own actions, demonstrating empathy and maintaining a focus on solutions to provide security and promote trust. It is also important for the project manager to understand each team member's strengths and weaknesses in order to deploy them effectively.
5. Adjust goals
After a setback, it is often necessary to redefine your goals, making them more realistic and concrete and adapting them to the current situation. It is important that the goals are inspiring as well as achievable. So-called integrative goals, which take into account the individual strengths of the team and encourage collaborative solutions, are particularly effective. People who can independently contribute to shaping the goals are more motivated and identify more strongly with the project.
6. Look ahead
Every setback offers an opportunity for a fresh start. These experiences, however painful they may have been, are valuable. They provide insights and the necessary maturity to tackle new challenges with greater clarity and inner strength. Courage comes not only from success, but also from dealing with failure. Those who have learned that failure is a natural part of growth rather than a sign of defeat can look to the future with greater serenity.
1. Accept failure
The first step towards change is acceptance — failure is part of the learning process. This applies to both experienced project managers and those new to the role who are taking over an ongoing or failed project. It is important to take a constructive approach to the past without getting lost in blame.
Blaming your predecessor or emphasising the mistakes of individual team members does not promote trust; rather, it undermines motivation. It makes much more sense to move on from the past together so you can start afresh.
2. Reflect deeply
Real change begins with honest reflection. What went well? What could have gone better? Where were the stumbling blocks, and what can be learnt from them? An open exchange within the team, free from hierarchical pressure, can help you to see things more clearly. It can be helpful to gain some distance from the failure. Allow emotions such as disappointment or anger to surface, so they no longer hinder a constructive review.
Imagine the project is a ship and you, as the project manager, are the captain. In a crisis, it is your job to take control, stay calm and guide the team safely through the storm. This attitude of inner leadership is crucial for joint development.
3. Seek feedback
Reflection is good, but feedback is better. This is because others often notice things that you have overlooked. It is important to seek out different perspectives, whether from team members, stakeholders, or external consultants.
In challenging periods, positive and appreciative feedback can be especially powerful. It reminds us that not everything was negative, and that our work is recognized and valued. At the same time, feedback should also be constructive. Where is there potential? What could be done better? A balanced review provides direction and motivation for the next step.
4. Strengthen resilience
Resilience, or the ability to cope with setbacks and emerge stronger from them, is not an innate trait, but a skill that can be learned. It is strengthened when challenges are overcome together, mistakes are openly discussed, and responsibility is embraced.
A resilient team is characterised by its ability to work together under pressure and respond flexibly to change. The project manager must lead by example, reflecting on their own actions, demonstrating empathy and maintaining a focus on solutions to provide security and promote trust. It is also important for the project manager to understand each team member's strengths and weaknesses in order to deploy them effectively.
5. Adjust goals
After a setback, it is often necessary to redefine your goals, making them more realistic and concrete and adapting them to the current situation. It is important that the goals are inspiring as well as achievable. So-called integrative goals, which take into account the individual strengths of the team and encourage collaborative solutions, are particularly effective. People who can independently contribute to shaping the goals are more motivated and identify more strongly with the project.
6. Look ahead
Every setback offers an opportunity for a fresh start. These experiences, however painful they may have been, are valuable. They provide insights and the necessary maturity to tackle new challenges with greater clarity and inner strength. Courage comes not only from success, but also from dealing with failure. Those who have learned that failure is a natural part of growth rather than a sign of defeat can look to the future with greater serenity.
Conclusion
Failure is not defeat; it is a natural part of development. It challenges us to step out of our comfort zones, question old patterns and adopt new perspectives. The experiences gained from failed projects can help us grow enormously, both personally and professionally. When we stop hiding from failure and start using it as a springboard, our attitude changes and a culture of personal and collective growth emerges.
Author: IAPM internal
Keywords: Project management, Personal growth